Korea
Japan
Hong Kong
But there are so many other places I may wind up... (hopefully not jail or dead).
I am using this space as a blog, and as a way to dump the dailies I take from my camera (Panasonic GH1 and Samsung TL320). I want those who are interested to get a daily-updated, unfiltered view of my crazy Asian adventure.
I should have been drunk all day, Tokyo, Japan - Day 5
David and I did our best to get up early. Yeah well fuck that didn’t happen. After too much not sleeping we finally slept. TOO DAMN MUCH.
The plan was to hit up Harajuku to see the cosplayers. We got there too late and there were only a few left. A few….uh…weird ones…
But at least there were people giving free hugs!!!
Goddam I love hugs. If you ever see me, give me a hug. I will love you forever. It’s really that easy. The first time I was in Japan, I joined a group of people giving out free hugs and I did it for 15 minutes. I was calling out people in the street to come to me, and running up to others with arms open. I hugged 80+ people in 15 minutes. It was insane. I actually went into slight withdrawals afterwards! Hug withdrawals!
Well, so the cosplayers sucked. Time to check out Yoyogi Koen. Ah yes! The Black Shadows. Rockabilly Japanese people dancing for hours and hours, with hardly anyone applauding them. Soo awkward… but still awesome!
Of course, they drink to take the edge off. POWERCHUG!!!
Now check this dude out. This takes some dedication:
My hat’s off to you, good sir.
After that, we took a nice little stroll into Yoyogi Park.
The trees are really pretty this time of year…
Wow there’s a lot of people…uh?
OH MY GOD!!!!
Everyone’s drunk!
So this is what hanami is all about. Dude it was insane! So many drunk Japanese people! Saw a dude pissing on a tree, others drinking whiskey out of the bottle, it was nuts! Piles of beer cans everywhere….it was like sungod at UCSD. Now this….is a real Japanese party!!
I was actually working on a video about this crazy day and the things I saw, but I got sidetracked by Hong Kong and “The Dread” that I never had time to finish it. Sorry everyone, you’ll just have to take my word for it. Yoyogi Park around hanami is insane.
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Just then, amidst all of the insanity and awesome footage-capturing I was doing, I felt something hit my shoulder. Did David just throw something at me? I looked around for him, but couldn’t find him. The fuck was that? I looked down at my shoulder. IT WAS BIRD SHIT.
WHAT THE FUCK NATURE?!!? YOU DIRTY ASS GUTTER SLUT. My new jacket! My new jacket was ruined! (oh yeah, I bought this totally sweet jacket in S. Korea) WHAT. THE . HELL.
I found David, told him what happened. He then told me that the shit hit my head first. MY BEANIE!! WHAT THE FUCK MY BEANIE TOO?! I wore that damn thing practically every day of this adventure! Its kept my head so warm and cozy. NOW ITS RUINED.
I took off the jacket, beanie. Tried rubbing the poop off on a nearby tree. That just spread the shit. I had to go back to the hotel. My day was ruined. It was 40 degrees outside, and I was in nothing but a T-shirt (and pants probably). David was wearing 3 layers, and he was freezing. I, I was too angry to care. It was so damn cold outside, but I actually felt warmer with all those clothes off than I did with them on. I was furious. So much fun was waiting for me at the park - tons of happy, drunk (and therefore outgoing) Japanese people. How often does that actually happen? I’ll tell you. ONCE IN A DAMN LIFETIME THATS HOW OFTEN.
I had to lug the shit-stained clothes back to the train station, in a crowded subway car (careful assholes! Or I’ll get shit on you!) And a 15-minute walk back to the hotel. I washed my clothes, poorly, in the tiny Japanese sink we had. With hand soap. How lame.. day ruined.
At some point late at night David and I got hungry, so we set off for exploration and food!
wait where the hell is everyone?!
There was like, hardly anyone on the roads/alleys. Most places were closed, too! It was weird, and anger-inducing. We were hungry!
David and I eventually settled on this izakaya that looked like pretty packed. After we sat down and ordered they told us we had only 40 minutes til close, and only 5 minutes to place our last order. THE HELL JAPAN!!! This is Shinjuku! Why the hell are you closing at 11:40!?
I was rushed, and just ordered random shit off the menu. I had no idea what I was ordering, David and I just said a prayer and got some beer to wash the garbage down. See that pizza-looking crap in the corner? If I read the kanji right, I ordered horse pizza. Most of the food sucked. The bill was over $20 USD each. What a waste.
I’ve always failed at ordering food in Japan. I don’t know why but I just suck at it. I feel like I’ve failed David with most of the stuff we ate there.
After that garbage, I officially declared it was drunk time, and I wasn’t going to waste a single minute more on walking around. We hopped into the nearest conbinni and guess what I found!
STRONG OFF!! Hell yeah what an awesome name for a beer. It tasted like crap, but it did the job. Off to kabukicho!
I dunno man, we were drunk, and this was silly. STRONG OFF did the job quick. I almost slipped on this floor laughing the entire time. Picture of the year, IMO.
Kabukicho is the red-light district in Shinjuku (and its the home base of the Yakuza! Or, at least their stomping grounds). I promised to show David some crazy shit. But for some reason I couldn’t find any of the sex shops! What happened to you Kabukicho? You used to be so crazy! Something was so wrong about this night in Shinjuku, like some public holiday or someone died or I don’t know. The was not the Shinjuku I remember.
What sucks about Shinjuku (that I didn’t know) is that most bars have a charge for going inside! It averages at about 600 yen (over $6), so people don’t really bar-hop like we do everywhere else in the world. People usualy stick with one spot and stay there (for obvious reasons).
Having already blown so much money in Japan (on God knows what), we weren’t about to pay no damn six dollars to sit inside a damn bar. Luckily, I spotted this silly sign!
The bartender was so nice! He spoke some English and was just a badass old man who knew his shit. There were two really REALLY pretty women in there. David and I chatted with them for a bit. They were Japanese, but spoke really good English. Too bad this drunk Australian (or Brit? I don’t remember nor care) was trying to hit on them like crazy, so the girls just left. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! 大好き〜〜〜！！！ 愛している！！ Damnit…there they went…
Hey its us! Eh what a shitty picture… (the beanie is my backup beanie, haha). My hair is so long!
The aussie-brit then turned his attention to this girl from Oregon, who turned from him and tried hitting on David and I. We were confused by the whole situation so we left.
What a….boring night. In Kabukicho are you serious!!?! So strange.
At least we saw some funny signs…
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So, when posed with nothing to do in Japan, what does one do?
YOU GO TO DONKIHOTE FUCK YEAH!!!
For those not in the know, Donkihote is this ridiculous variety department store spread all over the major cities in Japan. They sell….everything. Clothes, hair dryers, costumes, fake nails, TVs, video games, watches, prada, condoms, oh and…
PORNO! Look! Does something strike you as strange about this picture? Look harder. Harder…. Harder.
Give up?
The dude has two penises! (wait, is the plural term penii? I’m not about to google that shit). TWO DICKS! Awesome. Those of you who know me know (and don’t believe) that I don’t watch porn. I really don’t. I’m serious. I hate being teased, and that’s all I’ll say on the subject. The same reason I’ve never been to a strip club. I really really really hate being teased (I mean, I hate being teased by something I can’t have). Shit I’m talking way too much about this. Moving on…
David and I dicked around (haha, dicked) donkihote for a good while, and eventually decided to call it a night.
On the way back to the hotel we discovered a…Natural Lawson!!? WHOAA!!! Now, Lawson is a normal Japanese convenience store. But…wtf is a natural lawson? After talking to the cashier, turns out Natural Lawson is…all natural!! Organic! SCORE! I was stunned. A conbinni where everything is organic?! HOLY FARTS!!
Yeah, so that actually made the night pretty awesome. I grubbed on some cream bread. MMMMMMMM
And now, the dailies:
